duskball:

lame-waves:

i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??

Holy fuxki shit

(via swallowbitchpeoplearestarving)

blood tw blood blood tw gore? idk it's kinda gross but kinda funny?

I have to find a new counselor because the one I had suddenly stopped seeing me. 

I’m really pissed. 

Like, really. Fucking. Pissed. 

"

Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.

Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”

“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”

“How about me?”

He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”

She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.

“Your wife.

"
-

"Bedtime Story", Jeffrey Whitmore (via arbryna)

Oh shit. Plot twist. 

(via sugarmicchan)

(Source: talesofnorth, via mysticmelodies)