i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??

Holy fuxki shit

(via swallowbitchpeoplearestarving)

blood tw blood blood tw gore? idk it's kinda gross but kinda funny?

I have to find a new counselor because the one I had suddenly stopped seeing me. 

I’m really pissed. 

Like, really. Fucking. Pissed. 


Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.

Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”

“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”

“How about me?”

He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”

She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.

“Your wife.


"Bedtime Story", Jeffrey Whitmore (via arbryna)

Oh shit. Plot twist. 

(via sugarmicchan)

(Source: talesofnorth, via mysticmelodies)